Thursday, April 30, 2009

Why do we devalue ourselves as women but expect men to value us?

I write this because it is something i have been witnessing myself and have honestly experienced myself. Women who are in "half" relationships. I am not speaking of those who are willing and wanting these relationships, i'm talking about those who are in them but want more. Why are we putting the mans needs before our own? and YES if you want more but he doesn't YET you are giving yourself to him you are putting HIS needs before YOURS.

Why is it that when some women want a "man" they are ok with someone they occasionally go out on dates with and frequently sleep with? Then they complain that they want more. It is much harder to turn THAT into a real relationship. ever heard the term " Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free"?

Why is it that some women feel the NEED a man in order to feel validated? I find myself asking these questions to myself and realizing that I have come to the point where I have had a yearning for a man BUT never really thought it out, never really looked at what that man was going to contribute to my life, how was he going to better my life and if it was even possible for him to do so. After getting pass his looks what would i enjoy about him. While I am very selective and don't date a lot but i must admit when i do decide to date I don't really ask myself these questions I have made a decision to be by myself no dating, no man, no relationship physical or otherwise ( besides friends) for at least 3 months starting today. It was a hard decision to make since i was dating some one but i need to find ME.

I feel we as women need to know, cherish and love themselves before we embark on a relationship with a man. I always hear, why and i single, and i wish i had a man, and things of that nature but do we women ever really want to know the answers to those questions. Do we dig deep down inside to figure out the answers to all of our whys. Are we setting standards but allowing the men we deal with to fall below the standards because they are cute and/or their pipe game is good?

Right now i am looking for husband material, a man that will look at me in a way he never looks at anyone else. a man that can see my worth beyond my curves ( while they are limited they are still there,lol). Some Women put more into picking out an outfit then they do a man.

I have 3 projects that I am working on that i need to put all of my energy into and having this me time will help me do that. it will be my focus besides my son. Plus i graduate in may and i am beyond excited.
Wish me luck!

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