Thursday, April 30, 2009

Why do we devalue ourselves as women but expect men to value us?

I write this because it is something i have been witnessing myself and have honestly experienced myself. Women who are in "half" relationships. I am not speaking of those who are willing and wanting these relationships, i'm talking about those who are in them but want more. Why are we putting the mans needs before our own? and YES if you want more but he doesn't YET you are giving yourself to him you are putting HIS needs before YOURS.

Why is it that when some women want a "man" they are ok with someone they occasionally go out on dates with and frequently sleep with? Then they complain that they want more. It is much harder to turn THAT into a real relationship. ever heard the term " Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free"?

Why is it that some women feel the NEED a man in order to feel validated? I find myself asking these questions to myself and realizing that I have come to the point where I have had a yearning for a man BUT never really thought it out, never really looked at what that man was going to contribute to my life, how was he going to better my life and if it was even possible for him to do so. After getting pass his looks what would i enjoy about him. While I am very selective and don't date a lot but i must admit when i do decide to date I don't really ask myself these questions I have made a decision to be by myself no dating, no man, no relationship physical or otherwise ( besides friends) for at least 3 months starting today. It was a hard decision to make since i was dating some one but i need to find ME.

I feel we as women need to know, cherish and love themselves before we embark on a relationship with a man. I always hear, why and i single, and i wish i had a man, and things of that nature but do we women ever really want to know the answers to those questions. Do we dig deep down inside to figure out the answers to all of our whys. Are we setting standards but allowing the men we deal with to fall below the standards because they are cute and/or their pipe game is good?

Right now i am looking for husband material, a man that will look at me in a way he never looks at anyone else. a man that can see my worth beyond my curves ( while they are limited they are still there,lol). Some Women put more into picking out an outfit then they do a man.

I have 3 projects that I am working on that i need to put all of my energy into and having this me time will help me do that. it will be my focus besides my son. Plus i graduate in may and i am beyond excited.
Wish me luck!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Couples i just don't understand

Ok so beyonjay has been going long and strong for a while BUT i dont get it. he is Uggggg. he must be a smooth talker with an big BLEEP.... i keep telling myself its more then the physical but like for real he is not attractive in the least, not even his ear,lol.

And then we have the brown Pillsbury dough boy and blondie. Im an just confused by them

She looks great

I'm happy to see her looking better then usual... she can afford to gain a pound or 2 but she is looking good.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

You see everything on the NYC subway

One can see the funniest, weirdest most entertaining things on the subway. SO on my way home i saw them bone breaking guys that were on Americans best dance group. OMG they look more amazing in person. there was one of them that was very, very talented.
Then i get on another train and it was this guy who was venting at first about ppl being rude but then he ask if he could borrow 90 bucks from one of us, he then proceeds to tell us that he lives on the train and he is hiding from his wife. I'm telling you he cracked me up. Even though its illegal i give those who entertain me money. no more than a dollar but i think its worth it, they did entertain me.

I saw the biggie movie FINALLY!!!

OMG i loved it. The person that played him did an amazing job!!! Lil Kim need go go sit her behind down b/c the girl that played her looked just like her. I was impressed with the movie. I began to feel somewhat nostalgic when watching. I will definitely be watching it again!

Subway Etiquette

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I want these shoes..... Maybe someone will get them as a graduation gift for me. :-D

I am a Vintage Whore

I absolutely LOVE vintage clothing, pocket books and even shoes ( even though i am YET to get a pair of vintage shoes, I want some black and whites). Often ppl may not understand my style but i'm ok with that. I have a LOT of vintage pocket books,shirts , hats, and dresses. I just ordered some new shorts and such recently. I am looking for new websites b/c i think i am bored with the few that I have. Vintage items range from non expensive to very expensive and i love it all.

New word orrrrr expression or....

SO i usually start a lot of what i say off with SO if u review my blog you will probably see that. i often pick up new words, sayings and or expressions. AHHHHHH is my new thing. so if u see it a lot know it is just something i have picked up. Not sure from where but i have caught myself saying it. So I apologize in advance if it will annoy you, lol.

I need to either gain weight OR walk with heavy bags as my mom would say

The weather in New York was HORRIBLE yesterday. I went out in that weather and was damn near blown away. I had a purse and another bag and i was trying to hold my giant umbrella, ( yes all while wearing heels). there were about 4 occasions when the wind too me in the opposite direction of my desired path. Some times the wind made me pick up my

My mom always calls me to make sure i'm OK when its windy out, i find it funny. she swears i will be taken away. My fear is I will get pushed into the street and hit by a car :-(. Me against the Wind... I have won thus far but it has been a hell of a


So a group of young adults went bowling last Tuesday and we are now the ppl no one wants to party with,lol. Mind you we were NOT in a club and we obviously had on bowling shoes. Yes there was a slight wrestle mania moment BUT it was all in fun, both the guys and the girls ( not me) were willing participant. First MTO now This site:
I find it entertaining, those who saw the pictures and posted them clearly saw us bowling and at a bowling alley, Its just funny how some turns the story to fit their own ideas,lol

Monday, April 20, 2009

A sad trend with black owned buisnesses

In NYC the restaurant Maroons has closed its doors. It saddens me because this was a great place to eat, very good food and cozy as well. I hope every supports our black owned establishments. Its a beautiful thing to support our people. I hope they will open up again soon!

Dear Maroons Customers,

With great regret we are sorry to inform you that due to the continuing downturn in the economy that Maroons Restaurant will be closing its doors. It has been our pleasure and honor to serve you over the past 10 years. Every customer was like family to us and we will miss you all very much. We thank you for your support and loyalty over the years and hope to see you again in the future.

Our final days of operation will be this Wednesday, January 28th, Thursday January 29th and Friday January 30th. (We will be closed Monday January 26th and Tuesday January 27th) Please join us as we celebrate 10 wonderful years!

Food, Family, Home-

Arlene Weston and Maroons Management

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Life after death

In the aftermath of my uncles death i realized that life is indeed too short. There are so many things in life that i want to do but have put off b/c of fear or the idea of failing. I always say " nothing tried nothing failed" but i haven't been living by that lately. So i am going to set forward and do the things that i want to do and try to push my fears to the side.

As we laid my uncle to rest and celebrated his life so many things were happening, I was reunited with family and i met family members that i never knew i had. It was such an bitter sweet experience but it made me realize i need to visit and see my family more often. Just because we are scattered all over the US doesn't mean we cant come together outside of death.

When what you are wearing is what someone else is wearing

You're at home putting the finishing touches on your outfit, KNOWING that you look cute, you do a final mirror check. Your girls tell you how cute you look when you meet up to them, there is no stopping you. You arrive at the club still feeling like that hotness but you glance over to your left and see.... Your dress. You tell your girls, " Oh well, i look better anyway" Your girls agree even if its not true. Then for some strange reason you keep passing the girl with "your" dress on.

This has never happened to me... I think i would be so pissed,lol. I mean i know there is no dress made for me and only me BUT man i would e upset. I have seen doubles in the club 4 and its kind of funny...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A 2 way vent.

Cheap -Vs- Inexpensive

YES there is a difference. I HATE cheap looking stuff... I don't care how much you paid for it the style and material can make an item look cheap. Cheap shoes are a definite NONO. if you buy shoes with a plastic heel the guess what IT WILL MORE THEN LIKELY BREAK! Your feet are important, put care in what you put in them. Spend a little money on buying shoes that wont hurt your feet.
Cheap cloths. If u wear something and it doesn't suit your body it will look cheap 9 times out of 10. Step one. check the material of the clothing, step 2 try it on and make sure your body type doesn't cheapen it... i know that sounds crazy but believe me it goes a long way. Step 3 (if possible) get an honest opinion. NOT from someone that has a hard time being honest but from someone that will be honest no matter what!

Inexpensive is something that doesn't cost much BUT can be rocked and no one else is the wiser. I am not a label Whore even though i have many labels. I like what i like, it doesn't matter how much it cost. I have a dress that cost 550 next to a dress that cost 40 bucks right next to each other and you cant not tell the difference. You dont have to spend a ton of money to look nice just take the time out to do so.

Oh and just because something is instyle doesnt mean it's for everyone. leggings NOT FOR EVERYONE... head bands NOT FOR EVERYONE ( im speaking of the Indian style ones) Belly shits NOT FOR EVERYONE. poffy skirts NOT FOR EVERYONE... Low rise jeans NOT FOR EVERYONE ( crack is wack). Dress for your body type and no one else. I am not one that goes with whats in i just like what I like. but some people try so hard and do such a bad job because they are trying to keep up with trends.

I went bowling last night!

I really needed it, i had to get out of the house, I couldn't stay in the bed all day again. I am so glad i went. There was bowling, wrestling, drinking, music, and all around fun....
The place was pretty cool, even though we got kicked out an hour before they were to close. The wrestling did them in. I didn't wrestle but i
The food was OK and the prices were great IMO

service-4- I think the waitress was nervous b/c there were a lot of us. too many blk ppl in one place.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Funny story

The day other my friend and I were walking around in the city... we were arm and arm but that's how i walk with almost all my friends. Problem is she was... well a she. Anyway, we are walking and the older lady walks past us. I didn't pay her any attention BUT my friend says... "that lady just gave us the evil eye". I turned around to see just who she was speaking of, and low and behold this woman had turned around and was mumbling something under her breath while looking both of us up and down. Honestly i don't know what the specific reason was, but this woman was NOT happy with us. We laughed about it because honestly we thought it was funny.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Pink tea cup- Resturant

So I went to This restaurant called Pink Tea Cup. I met up with a friend on Thursday and had lunch. It is a really nice quaint place that one may walk by if not looking close. Its located down town in "noho" lol. The food was great, our waiter was amazing. We of course ordered too much food, as my mom would say our " eyes were bigger then out stomach". I had pecan pancakes and friend chicken breast with a side of bacon and my friend had, ( you ready) grits, eggs, banana pancakes, hash browns, AND
The place is very cozy and you can tell it has been there for a while. The decor is not much to wow about but the food makes up for it. the prices are great and the food was amazing. I would definitely go back. SO here is my review.


I just want to share

Today April 12th My Uncle passed away. He was my mother remaining living brother ( she had 4). My uncle Freddie was a very funny, loving, highly respected man. Things happened so fast. He was diagnosed with Cancer and from that day it all went down hill, he went from being diagnosed to, given 6 months to a year to live, to having to be put on a machine to help him breath, then falling into a coma. and Today passing away. All of this happened in a 2 week span. I woke up this morning headed to the hospital with this ill feeling. Part of me knew this would be the day. Unconsciously i wore all black. As I walked the the halls I knew something was wrong. I met a friend of the family who tells me he is gone.

I am going to see a lot of my family within the coming weeks. What is so sad about it is i haven't seen most of them for 7 years. When my first cousin ( whom i called my uncle) My uncles son passed. I questioned why is it that I only see a lot of my family when death has rocked up. I made a promise to my self for that to end.

I strongly stress, when feeling ill, go to the doctor. My uncle had said to some that he wasn't feeling well for quite a while. That is why he went so fast. In the end i think he wanted to go soon instead of putting his sister ( my mom) and his children through watching him die. Please take care of you self, make sure your health is good.
Thanks for reading....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

When the heel of your black shoes turn white... THROW THEM OUT

Ok so i have been seeing this and i just don't understand. Are people really serious? Is it that they do not want to throw their "favorite shoes" away? When the heel of the shoes turn white that means you have worn the heel out. Its ridiculous, you are walking on a damn nail. Oh and flat shoes/boot, the same thing goes. When it ( the heel or back of the boot) turns white the means the heel of the boot is about to bust out and they need to go in the trash ASAP.
Ok thats all...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Someone sure likes skittles

Skittles can be used as more then just candy i guess

Monday, April 6, 2009

One of my no heat hair style techniques

Ok so the video is of how i achieved the look from the pictures, i hate that my hair is layered but it is what it is, i hope you enjoy!

Taking a woman to dinner= Sex?!?!?!?!? ( insert confused face here)

Now, the title alone sounds outrageous right? WRONG, I have many friends that have told me this story. The call me and say, " you know this fool thought he was getting some." Its crazy the sex crazed society we live in allow men to believe that sex is compensation for taking a woman to dinner. Now one would ask " what did you do, i mean why would he think that's OK" I'm many of the cases excepting dinner alone gives these men probable cause to believe they had the right to anticipate sex from the female. This is yet another reason as to why i don't date. I can not, will not, deal with this. It has never happened to me but I can only imagine my reaction if it were to happen, I think I would lose my common sense and go ape crazy on the dude.
Why does a date= sex?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Leaving your home looking presentable

Today as i was going on my walk I strolled pass these young ladies. I would they were at least 15 years old. Usually I take my music with me when I walk but I decided not to for today. Well these young ladies were talking pretty loud and it caused me to look. ALL THREE of them had head scarves on. I was so disgusted. I couldn't understand why they would think wearing a head scarf in public was something to do.When I say scarf I am not speaking of the scarves that are worn for fashion usually silk, I am talking about the aunt Jamima(sp) scarves ( is that pc?)

Now of course this is not the first time i have seen this but it probed me to ask. Do people not care how they look in public. Yes these young ladies were children , but isn't that where it starts? As teenagers aren't they very conscious about what they are wearing and how they look? I am the first to admit, i dress down when i go to the local stores because I like to be left alone ( even though this does not work) BUT dressed down is totally different from dressing poorly. I always tell my son to make sure he is neat when he goes outside no matter where he is. No matter how much we may try to deny it appearance is important.

I think it is important to leave your house looking like your always going somewhere. My mom always told me you never know who you will bump into or when you will pass out (lol) so always look your best. To this day I try my best to look presentable.

Trey songs all kinds of sexy

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Got a new layout

I hope you guys like it. i didn't do it myself if you need a web designer i will give you his info. This was his first time doing a blog and i think he did well ( even though he didn't like doing it,lol). He does fly web designs and retouching for a good price. Again if you want his info let me know

I am so glad the cold weather is passing

Because I am so tired of seeing these ugly boots...

As big as New York is, it sure seems small.

The world is a small place,lol i have always found this funny. I transfer that saying over to New York is a small place. I would swear for everyone i know there is 6 degrees of separation. I never believed in that until recently.

It seems like everyone knows everyone,people i went to school with knows people i party with, people i hang out with knows people i grew up with. Its kind of spooky. I get emails and phone calls asking how do i know this person and where did i meet that person.

I'm glad that for the most part I have been a good girl. Some would say boring, I say cautious. I am rarely rude and always told I am " a nice girl" *insert devil smile here*. NOW that we have facebook and Myspace ( even though the hype of that is passing) the world can only get smaller. Sometimes I don't want to be known. I just want to be me, in my own little world, with a few of my friends. I have had people approach me in the street as well as in a club and say " hey i know you from..." isn't that scary?

Many aim to be "popular" i don't. I like to remain the girl that no one knows and no one knows about ( even thought this is partially true) i have a recognizable face but, very few TRULY know me. I try to be as private as possible because the more people know about you the easier they can hurt you

Sometimes i feel like New York is shrinking around me. I can't imagine living in a place smaller then New York. it has to be crazy.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Why leggings get such a bad name

Two examples as to why it took me soooooo long to buy a pair of leggings to wear in public. This right here makes no sense

13 dead in Binghamton New York

This is crazy... a man held some people hostage ( about 41). They are saying he ( the suspect) may have more planned. They haven't caught him as of yet April 3rd 1:45pm. What i don't understand is how someone can be that crazy and plan out an attack the way they are describing it. That is a very dangerous person!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Why is it so hard to date in New York?

This question came up on a forum I visit. I must say at first I felt the question was condescending ( i still do, well not the question in its self but the way in which it was asked) but it is a valid question. New York is no different then many other places when it comes to dating. Same issues just more people to have them.

It's like how can you live in a country of countless opportunity, the riches country in the world and NOT be rich, all things are possible. I agree New York is a melting pot of people. I call New York the "single capital of the world" jokingly. I can give a million reasons as to why i am single and point them all to the men and what they do wrong but i must look at myself first.

For the past year and some change I haven't been true and honest to myself. I allowed myself to settle and I didn't really value my worth. Something serious happened to me and it caused me to re-evaluate my life and even though i did i found myself falling right back into the same conformity as i did before. This hindered me from dating. something I hate (dating) so I saw nothing wrong with it, i was just fine ( at least i thought). I was comfortable with the "right now" instead of the future. I was thinking about instant gratification ( not sexual) instead of long term goals.

Yes i get approached often but does that mean i should take every man that approaches me name and number? I get approached everyday i leave my house, I am flattered but i know what I like, its rare that i find someone I am attracted to. When i do find someone I'm attracted to i have to look past the physical and get into much more important areas and that is when the fall flat.
My 3 year on and off relationship ended in turmoil, towards the end it was hard and brutal, he became bigger the us and i hung on for dear life. When it was over I wanted anything but a relationship, so i was comfortable with being "single". Now that I'm open to dating I look out at what's before. I realize that my standards are high, 1 reason ( the most important reason) is my child. whomever I bring into my life has to be a good person for my son also because at some point he has to meet him and they have to be apart of each others life.

The men I see are looking for "Friends" or they have very little things going on in their lives. Some are also very young. Other men i meet have commitment issues, or relationship issues.
New York is a place of glitz and glamor most people wants to" party like a rock star and screw like a porn star" commitment seems to be a thing of the past. With that being said I am sure HE is out there for me. HE may be right in front of my face. He may be in another state. HE may be in another country, but i know HE is out there. I'm patient :-)

Who is Michelle Obama?

Who is this force of nature that has captivated our lives within the last couple of months? Who is the rock who literally stands by her man? Who is this woman that humbles herself to let her husband shine?

I have never seen a first lady as i now see MY first lady. This woman that stands before me on the television clapping and clasping her hands together looks like that of many women in my family. Could this be? Is this true? At times I have to pinch myself to realize it's a reality. This woman who has the skin tone of my mom, the bone structure of my aunt and the curves of many of the women i know is indeed MY FIRST LADY, but what is behind that name?

Michelle Obama is not the typical house wife, she is not JUST the presidents wife, she is not JUST a mom. She has so much depth, so much achievement, so much to be proud of. Michelle Robinson was born January of 1964. She attended as well as graduated from two highly regarded schools, them being, Princeton University and Harvard Law. She is only the third first lady to graduate with a post graduated degree. Upon graduating Michelle Obama worked for a law firm in which she met he now husband our now President Barack Obama.

As her career continued Michelle Obama held public sector positions Assistant to the Mayor and as Assistant Commissioner of Planning and Development. Michelle Obama held many important meaningful positions subsequently which included but not limited to Associate Dean of Student Services at the University of Chicago.

In 2007 Michelle Obama made the choice to reduce her personal career responsibilities to help her husband make history. Michelle Obama then started to become a house hold name, she campaigned for her husband. Attended rallies, Gave powerhouse speeches. During this time she employed an all female staff.

Michelle Obama is our future.She is a strong, educated, eloquent, stylish, powerful African American women. She gives our little girls a role model they have so yearned for silently. She gives African American women hope that we too can achieve what she has if and when we set our minds to it. While we have had Oprah and Maya Angelou ( 2 women i look up to after my mom of course) we have never had some one quite like Michelle Obama. Her family portrait is the real live Huxtables, something many only knew as a fairy tale. While I am in awe of My president My First Lady is who I admire!