Tuesday, March 31, 2009

If we don't love ourselves how do we expect others to love us?

So on this forum i visit a link was posted here it is

The video is very riveting, It shows us what we already know but often turn a blind eye to. It's the infamous "doll test". It questions which doll various African American children prefer. The one part of this video that stuck out to me was when one of the little girls was asked which doll is prettier and her answer was quite interesting " this one" she says. Pointing to the white doll. Why the lady asked " because i like white, I don't like brown" "which one looks like you?" " this one" she says pointing to the brown doll and giggling. Then she points out that she is mixed with white and brown and that she is not mean. This stuck out in my head because this child clearly feels like the white doll was "prettier" even though she herself was not white. ( the dolls look exactly the same except the color)

Our brown girls and how they view themselves start at home. We get our views on ourselves, our complexion, our beauty from home. What are we allowing them to watch? Who are we allowing them to "idolize"? This is embedded in their mind and guides their views on what is pretty and not pretty. Why would a child that KNOWS she is brown pick a doll opposite of her and say it was the prettiest? Why does she have to point out that she is mixed with both white and brown? Is that the only way for a brown child to view others and themselves as pretty? Is this what she sees or what she is told? As parents it is important that our children have accurate views of themselves, their family, their culture.

It says a lot when a child picks a doll that looks opposite to her as the prettiest and her reason behind it has to do with complexion. Our community is so torn apart ( which is another blog entry i'm working on). Complexion plays a huge roll, no matter how much we try to deny it. I was one of those people living in denial because i never experience negativity about my complexion as i was growing up, it wasn't until i was an adult, actually about a year or two ago that i started hearing negativity about complexions in the black community.

How do we ( black people) expect people to put us in the magazines, have us in their movies, put us on their shows playing the love interest or the " beautiful lady," if in our community ( the blk community) we don't even find us beautiful? Can we even be mad that we are not on more covers of magazines and that we don't have more lead rolls if WE cant see our beauty for what it is.
This clip sadend me even though it is much better then the one from many years ago. While progress has been made is it enough?

To be continued...


So this is kind of a request video. I realize i talk weird,lol. I also talk kind of fast and jumbled some times so i apologize. Hope you enjoy!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Bus hoppers get arrested, is paying 2 bucks worth a night in jail.

So on my nice Monday evening I am headed to school, Im on 125th street getting on the bus and the Police come in and say to the bus driver "open the back door" I'm looking like ummm ok. Well the police proceed to go to the back door and tell these 2 people to get off the bus the bus driver says over the PA "BUSTED". The escort them off the bus and arrest them, SMH, Now they are gonna be in lock up all because they didnt want to pay the two bucks.

Being single is over rated!

Being single has it perks. No one to report to, no one to argue with, plan around your time not " our time" but I think it ends there. Who really likes to be alone? Even when your mad at your significant other they are there for you. Who likes sleeping alone every night? who likes hearing about all these happy relationships around they while they are single? It is possible to be happy and single but how long does that last. for me it has worn off. I'm in the being single suck phase. Sadly I feel I will be single for a while.

I have been single ( meaning no one to call my man) for a YEAR and right about now it sucks. I hate dating, but people ask, " how do you plan on meeting people" that is where the problem starts. I want to be in a relationship yes I do BUT i hate going on DATES I hate the "getting to know you" phase. I hate the first date questions and the awkward silences. I hate the, do i hug or hand shake moment. The single life is not all it is cracked up to be!


OMG, I had a long bum-tastic weekend. I did nothing BUT wash my hair,cook, eat, play on the net and watch TV. My son went away AGAIN with his dads family so i was left home alone.I didn't do much but it felt so good.Sometimes it is perfectly fine to just do NOTHING lol. Lets hope i can have another good week.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

This is me... Take me how i am or not at all.

Even as a child i was a little "different" I was never apart of the "norm" never wanted to be in the "incrowd" but for some reason I knew everyone in the "incrowd". I have always been looked at with a side eye, weather it was my hair style or my outfit choice. one day I will have a fro the next a pony tail and the next a long weave, thats me.

I have never aspired to be like anyone, dont have fashion icons never had hair icons, i just like what I like. I dont conform to what is in nor do I "try" to be different. My thinking is, if you try hard to be different aren't you like everyone else TRYING to be different?

Living in the world and specifically New York you have to have a back bone and a tough exterior even if you are crying on the inside. People will talk ESPECIALLY if you have something they want. I walk pass and see many whisper and i know its about me i smile and keep it moving b/c i will continue to be me.

At 29 years old i never thought drama, chit chat, gossip, and even she said she said would exist in my world, but sadly it does. Of course at first when u realize you are the center of gossip you feel a sharp pain, but i compare it to a slap. It stings at first but its kind of irrelevant so it wears off after a while. I get over things easy a) because it doesn't alter my world b) im still me and c) its not that serious. I wish more people would live like that because i see so many people especially women that allow gossip to affect them. I am me and will not change for anyone so accept me as i am or not at all!

Friday, March 27, 2009

My reviews on Cafeteria located at 119 7th avenue on west 17th street

Cafeteria was a cool place, the decor was really comfy and the service was good. you have the option of eating outside which i will try the next time i go. I think its a cool place to get brunch and/or lunch. The prices are ok, my meal was about 20 bucks if I would have enjoyed it it would be fine but seeing as i didn't I took points off. I'm rating on a scale of 1-10


I didnt enjoy my food much but i would try a different meal on a different day b/c the service was great!

My ME day

So today Friday,March 27th I decided to have a me day, let me tell you it was more liberating then i suspected. There were many reasons as to why i needed to have this day. I didn't do anything really big but i took myself to breakfast and then walked around down town and sat in the park, all BY MYSELF. I got a lot of thinking done and realized that i need more ME days. Spending time alone out of the home is not such a bad thing, i didn't have to wait on anyone, didn't need to speak to someone, sat in silence enjoying my surroundings. I think everyone should try this it is so amazing. In all my 29 years i have never done something like this alone. My next step is the movies, i think i will go to one next week all by myself!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

men are crazy

So a while ago I met this guy at an afterwork. With all intentions to use him in my classroom, he is an artist and i thought it would be cool. Anyway he wanted to date me and i didnt, when he realized my intentions were not to date him he spazzed out on me via myspace. I then blocked him on myspace, Well i have seen him at various clubs (after works), anyway he finds me on facebook b/c he knows someone im 'friends" with. Why did this FOOL send me a message like all is good.
here is the conversation:

Add as Friend
Today at 7:27pm
Report Message
i want to apologize for being rude, but life is great, how ru.

My My My
Today at 7:28pm
I brush all the negativity off. I am GREAT!!!

Add as Friend
Today at 7:30pm
Report Message

My My My
Today at 7:33pm
You could have said hi, im a respectable person. PLUS i was having a ball with my people NO one could have killed my high!


living life in the persuit of happiness

Lets be honest everyone claims to want to be happy, but its our action that leads us to that path. are we completely happy or just content? this is a question i often ask. I don't understand how people stay at jobs in which they continue to complain about day in and day out, after about a year don't you think its time to move on? I hear people complain about their relationships they are in, first question how are you contributing to this unhappy situation second question why are you still in this unhappy situation?

My thoughts are we are the only ones that can make us happy, so we have to take the steps to do so, fear overrides our initial feeling to change the norm but in the end when a change is made one will realize that the change will be well worth it!

Borrowed from some one else... Emotional spring cleaning!

1. Sit down and center yourself, with your journal or a piece of paper. In the quietude of the moment, ask yourself, “What emotional responses do not serve me?” Don’t edit the thoughts. Don’t judge the answers. Just witness what comes in. Once you feel clear and calm, write down what came through.

2. Once the list is complete, take some time over the next few days to write how these emotions show up and what triggers them. It is important that you are clear about what buttons get pushed and how.

3. Write a list of the ways you could lead a more empowered life if you could shift these negative patterns.

4. Create a set of goals (no more than three per emotional issue) that you will begin to implement in the next six months. Include only those goals that you will commit to doing. You do not want to set yourself up for failure. Make sure, with these goals, that you create how you are going to release the unwanted behavior (Example: I will count to 10 before I speak when I am angry; I will call my prayer partner before I act out of an emotional place; I will take time to write down how a negative emotional response will not support me, and I will choose another response.)

5. Make a “win” list: Every time you respond more positively, document it. The more wins you experience and celebrate … the more wins there will be in your life!

Take a moment to say or think about this affirmation:

I totally and fully take charge of my emotional reactions. I clear out my negative dramatic tendencies and open to a life of magnificent joy!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Funny thing is after mentioning small claims court they "found" my things. haha!

when trying to be "different" with fashion goes so wrong

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Vent about rising fares in New York!

Ok so my hair looks a mess as usual and you guys can see up my nose again, i have to make sure the cam is set up differently next time... Oh i think i need to start wearing makeup when i do these videos,lol!

Is there a such thing as TOO MANY tats?

So burning money during a recession is the thing to do now?

Underage booty shaking youtubing

So i have seen 2 videos within a 3 day span with this young ladies who visually seem underage. Now i am the first one to admit that I look younger then I am but they really look like they are underage. As a parent if i were to see my child doing this i would be pissed.
here is some of their "work"



Why cant some ladies act like ladies...

It boggles my mind when i see certain things specifically in the club scene. Why is it so foreign for some ladies to act as such. It annoys me to see women tramping themselves up for attention. There is a such thing as negative attention and usually that's what they are getting. Then when the end of the night comes they wonder why they are getting men taking them home wanting to have sex with them verses asking them to lunch the next day. It saddens me to see some of the women i see in person as well as in pictures, to have your crouch, behind, and boobs plastered all over the net b/c you were acting crazy in the club has to be embarrassing. right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

lets take a few steps back...

SO i wanted to tell a little about myself for those who don't know me. I am a very motivated individual. I have faced many hurdles in my life and thus far have been able to jump them. Having a child at a young age I became a statistic, I was pegged to fail in life, be nothing, go no where. I was told I would fail my child because I would have nothing to give him. These words haunted me for years and still do, but they also empower me. I work hard so that my son will be successful!
I was the first one from my generation to complete college, i earned a degree in my field and when receiving my Bachelors degree i graduated with honors.All of this while having a full time job and being a mom. In May i will be receiving my Masters degree. This from someone that had no hope, no future, no where to go. I never gave up hope even though many gave up on me. In may when I complete that chapter in my life it will be a slap in the face to all of those who doubted i would make a life for my self and my child. I regret nothing and live to make a better life for my son. My life is the furthest thing from a fairytale but I enjoy every adventure i go on.
I hope you enjoyed the read.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ultra After work on Wednesdays

SO i went to ultra for what seems like the third week in a row but it wasn't, i skipped last week. Each week it just gets better and better. GREAT crowd, GREAT food, GREAT music. I had a ball yet again.

I know that some people get lose in the club but this takes the cake! ( well not really but DANG!)

They are getting it IN!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

THis video is powerful, watch and enjoy!

Some of my fashion WTF's. I have many more but this is all i could find. When i look at these pictures i smh and wonder what i was thinking. I probably thought i was cute to,lol

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The "W"

So I went to the W today today. Now i have been there before but to dance, tonight i went to chat and had some wine. Its a great place to go sit, talk and get some drinks. The decor is fab. The only thing I would add is FOOD. I truly recommend this place to go sit relax and drink.

A few things I look for in a man

s1) Ambitions and driven, there is nothing sexier
2) nice smile, pretty teeth great smile
3) He has his own. He doesn’t have to do for me. I just like for him to do for himself
4) Intelligent. Im not talking college educated is a must, i know idiots who have degrees.
5)He is good parent if he has a child. And will accept the fact that I have a child
6)Has a sense of humor. I love to laugh and tend to be attracted to those who can make me laugh
7)He has to be taller than me, I wear heels 99.9% of the time so they must be taller than me with heels on
8)Dark skin, I love chocolate men EVEN THOUGH. Light skin men usually approach me ( that’s for Ashante' b/c she has a smart mouth, lol)
9) Can dress, I love a man with style
10) Treats me like a lady. I don’t ask for much but I want to be treated as if I am special... Because well... I am!!
11) Does not smoke.
12) Unique... I rather the person that is willing to take a risk and stand out then someone trying to blend in, but not someone that has to be in the spotlight ( they may be confusing but I know what I mean, lol)
13)Easy going... because i am
14) Is NOT always in the club unless it’s their job and even then only when they MUST be there.
15) Accepts me for me, with my flaws attached. No one is perfect I would never expect perfection from anyone and I expect the same
16) Supportive in what i do and want to do in the future
17) He wants to get married
18) Honest, I hate Liars, just be honest
19) Respectable… In no way shape or form is disrespectful towards me, stands up for me when necessary.
20) Cherishes me for all that I am and all that I give him!
The funny thing is… My list is so easy but to find a man the exudes these qualities is hard. Many will say well that’s me but truth be told, its not!

Monday, March 16, 2009

SOOOOOO sorry about seeing up my nostrils,lol. they are huge i know....
im still working on making the videos better, oh and im very animated with when i speak as you can tell, sorry!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sorry about the sound quality
and oh my why is my face like that,lol.

Friday, March 13, 2009

How things have changed...

who remembers dialup internet, when your phone line had to be in connection with your internet. Oh man remember the sound... Those were the days

Clubs to NOT visit...

Club Imperial
SO i went out last night... WHY?? it caused more harm then good. Why are some clubs so ok without dress codes. I cant for the life of me understand why its so hard to dress like you have some sense...
SO i saw a female who looked like she was pregnant with this tight dress on. I'm still not sure she wasn't, i wouldn't be surprised if she was.
The men looked A MESS raggedy, ashy, bummy, you name it. I was sooooo disgusted

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Friends with Benefits?

Is it ever a good idea?
what if you then what a relationship from it, can that really work?

An Ex is an Ex for a reason right???

Everyone i know has at least gone back to there Ex. why? What is it that brings us back to something that didn't work the first time around? Funny thing is we usually still have the same issues that was there when the breakup happened.

my top 10 pet peeves about night life

1) Now and days EVERYONE gets bottle service, which leaves VIP packed with many people who have no home training and wants more then anything to get attention
2) Females that come to clubs on the train half naked... like really half naked.
4) Females that wear shirts as dresses, they make dresses that resemble shirts its not that hard.
5)Guys that like to touch... Keep your damn hands to your self.
6)DJ's/hype men that talk more then they play music. Just play the damn song and shut up
7)People who just walk back and forth in the club, this causes so much congestion and no room to dance
8) Ladies that acts like a whore but demands to be treated like a lady at the end of the night
9) Guys that get pissed off because the girl he purchased a drink for doesn't want to give him her number.
10. The "mature" crowd acting like they have no sense!!!