If we don't love ourselves how do we expect others to love us?

So on this forum i visit a link was posted here it is
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=7213714&page=1

The video is very riveting, It shows us what we already know but often turn a blind eye to. It's the infamous "doll test". It questions which doll various African American children prefer. The one part of this video that stuck out to me was when one of the little girls was asked which doll is prettier and her answer was quite interesting " this one" she says. Pointing to the white doll. Why the lady asked " because i like white, I don't like brown" "which one looks like you?" " this one" she says pointing to the brown doll and giggling. Then she points out that she is mixed with white and brown and that she is not mean. This stuck out in my head because this child clearly feels like the white doll was "prettier" even though she herself was not white. ( the dolls look exactly the same except the color)

Our brown girls and how they view themselves start at home. We get our views on ourselves, our complexion, our beauty from home. What are we allowing them to watch? Who are we allowing them to "idolize"? This is embedded in their mind and guides their views on what is pretty and not pretty. Why would a child that KNOWS she is brown pick a doll opposite of her and say it was the prettiest? Why does she have to point out that she is mixed with both white and brown? Is that the only way for a brown child to view others and themselves as pretty? Is this what she sees or what she is told? As parents it is important that our children have accurate views of themselves, their family, their culture.

It says a lot when a child picks a doll that looks opposite to her as the prettiest and her reason behind it has to do with complexion. Our community is so torn apart ( which is another blog entry i'm working on). Complexion plays a huge roll, no matter how much we try to deny it. I was one of those people living in denial because i never experience negativity about my complexion as i was growing up, it wasn't until i was an adult, actually about a year or two ago that i started hearing negativity about complexions in the black community.

How do we ( black people) expect people to put us in the magazines, have us in their movies, put us on their shows playing the love interest or the " beautiful lady," if in our community ( the blk community) we don't even find us beautiful? Can we even be mad that we are not on more covers of magazines and that we don't have more lead rolls if WE cant see our beauty for what it is.
This clip sadend me even though it is much better then the one from many years ago. While progress has been made is it enough?


To be continued...